“Let me tell you why you’re here. You know something. What you know, you can’t explain, but you feel it. You felt it your entire life. There’s something wrong with the world. You don’t know what, but it’s there. Like a splinter in your mind, driving you mad. It is this feeling that has brought you to me. Do you know what I’m talking about?”Morpheus
Have a look around your life. Not happy with where you are? Finding some aspects of your life to be lacking in whatever? Take a moment to list some of those disappointments. Literally write them down or type them into a document.
With that out of the way, examine the list a bit more closely. If you didn’t save room under each item ( I wouldn’t have) grab another sheet and copy the first point you listed. Now take the time to recall how you ended up at this particular point. What circumstances presented themselves for you to have arrived here? What was your reaction and/or thoughts at the time? What choices did you make?
Choice, it’s a bitch. We’re all accountable for the choices we make. No one else. If you find yourself shifting blame to the circumstance or another person, you can stop that shit now. No one forced your hand. I highly doubt a gun was to your head.
Let me go a bit further. There are the things we can control in life. These things force us to make decisions. Sometimes the decisions (choices) are easy. Sometimes not so much. Then there are things beyond our control. These things just happen, and we’re meant to react to the situation as it plays out. For the things we can control, and choose accordingly, we are accountable for the choices we made. For the things outside of our control, where no choice is given, we are responsible for our actions or lack thereof.
As an example, I hit the lotto (not giving up hope) for a million and choose not to invest my winnings soundly, but rather piss it all away. I’ve no one to blame but myself for the poor choices I made when the money is all but gone. I’m accountable for these decisions.
To add on, those winnings are suddenly gone after some insidious hacker theft. I’ve no control over something like that, it’s not my fault. That said, it is my responsibility to do something about it whatever that might look like.
Gentlemen, we are always the sum of our choices, whether we made those choices willingly or we are the “victims” of circumstance. Start holding yourself accountable for the things you could have changed and start trying to find ways to change them. Examine your reactions to circumstances that were beyond your control and figure out why you reacted in such a fashion. These situations are meant to be learning opportunities for you to improve upon. Stop blaming other people or circumstances for your lot. There is no victimhood here. There is only accepting the role you played in putting yourself where you are.
Do me a quick favor. Head to Google or DuckDuckGo and just search for personal development for men. Then rearrange the keywords however you like or change them a bit. You’ll likely get the same result I came up with. A plethora of different sites offering coaching services (guilty as charged) to men who want to learn how to be masculine.
What the actual fuck? When did men lose what it means to be masculine? How has it come to pass that so many guys have lost an instinct that carried humanity for eons?
I’m not so sure on that last question actually. I know I’ve often thought about what I instinctively feel my life and marriage should “be”. So maybe what was lost was the steps to attain or realize this?
Put aside all the possible reasons that can and should be listed for this current state of affairs, and reflect on your current situation. Were you ever “taught” what it meant to be masculine? Were you told what it was to be a man? Assuming you had a father-figure present in ...
“Let me tell you why you’re here. You know something. What you know, you can’t explain, but you feel it. You felt it your entire life. There’s something wrong with the world. You don’t know what, but it’s there. Like a splinter in your mind, driving you mad. It is this feeling that has brought you to me.” Morpheus
